Use this new dating app to save Americans from Trump

By | 22nd May, 2016

A highly unique dating website has hit the net as Americans are crying for an escape from the disaster of Donald Trump’s potential presidency. MapleMatch.com was conceived to offer love-sick Americans find a possible way out from Trump’s potential rule by matching them with Canadian singles.

The site’s landing page explains that ͞Maple Match makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of seeing Donald Trump in the White House.͟ Sounds like a joke or a hoax, but this site’s the real deal.

This bizarre, yet highly necessary, matchmaking service was created by 25-year-old Joe Goldman from Texas. The CEO’s personal fears are on par with the thoughts and feelings of many Americans, as Google search trends are reported to show a dramatic spike in American interest to get out of their country and high-tail it to the True North Strong and Free.

So for any Torontonians interested in a double win of not only finding love but also saving a fearful American from a horrific fate, head over to MapleMatch.com and sign up.

Actually, the website’s functionality is yet to launch but the signup waitlist has over 4,200 accounts ready for activation when the website goes live. Goldman states that over 70% of these registrations are Canadian, so it seems that we Canadians are either strongly attracted to the idea of a beefy American lover, or we really just love to play superhero. Either way, the Americans are getting a hella good deal out of this dating site.

You’ve gotta ask yourself though: Can true love blossom when someone is in pursuit of Canadian citizenship? Is this all about the Canadian version of a Green Card? Is love honestly an intention of this matchmaking service?

Goldman claims love is, in fact, the goal, stating that he senses Americans are tired of their dating pool and are looking for ͞something better.

We’re not surprised Canada is being described as that ͞something better.͟ Let’s show them what we’ve got, Toronto. Start racking up dozens of slutty/douchy selfies to capture your best angles so that when MapleMatch.com is launched, you’re ready to win some American hearts and save some lives.

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Born on the Prairies, Erin Cardone grew up knowing there was more to life than canola fields and AAA Alberta Angus. So she escaped, living in Europe and Australia, white-knuckling it through plates of calf brains and raw horse meat, and learning languages she can't remember anymore. After a stint as a jaded, skeptical journalist, she changed tack and began writing rather awesome blogs and showing businesses that advertising is dead, so long live social media, with her businesses Legendary Social Media. She now splits her time between various Canadian cities, Costa Rica and wherever else the wind blows.

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